Back Where I Began - Part 1

After experiencing several therapy sessions and past life regressions over a six month period, I thought I knew where I was going until I ended up where I began. All I can do is smile at the irony of it all.

February 2013, I packed up all my belongings and with my small tax return I set out on a new adventure. Don't get me wrong, at first it was amazing, I had time for myself, I was meditating, doing yoga, journaling, all the things I had wanted to do for so long with little interruption. Only 2 months into my adventure, my eldest son moved close by followed not far behind by my eldest daughter.

I had originally moved to help my sister with her business and a fresh start for me. Not long into my adventure, chaos intruded. We were forced to leave my sisters large 4 bedroom apartment and move into a small 2 bedroom mobile home. I don't know if forced is the right word, but I just played along.

Love your children and everything will be alright

Keeping in touch with your teenagers is a BIG challenge, but so far I think I am doing a great job. I grew up in a time when home ownership and having the things you need were right at your fingertips, but my situation is far from ideal. The best home I own right now is a run down mobile home with air leaks and mold. I feel like I haven't had the tools my parents had to teach my children responsibility. For instance, we grew up on a simple farm with a few cows, goats, chickens, pigs, turkeys, horses, and a large garden. There was a lot of responsibility involved in maintaining the farm, keeping the house clean, and weeding the garden. My children on the other hand did not have those advantages. Yes, I believe it was an advantage because I learned a lot from that experience. The best I have been able to offer is every other day the children switch dish night or cook a family meal.

This said, I continuously hear from others how great my children are and how responsible and what hard workers they are. How did I accomplish this?, I often ask myself, but somehow I did and they are great kids.

I have always made sure to say as they leave for school "Have a great day" and as they go to bed at night it's always "Goodnight, sweet dreams, I love you". I may not of had a lot to offer, but somehow I have raised wonderful children. Both my teenage daughters are in College. My two younger sons are helpful and loving. So in this imperfect world, love your children and everything will be alright...

Montana View

An obvious inspiration

It seems that a rainbow has many meanings and it’s the obvious inspiration.
When I see a rainbow, a smile streams across my face and I experience a sense of peace.
The beauty of the colors, the ominous sky behind it or dreaming of the “Pot of Gold” at the end of a rainbow (the childhood fable that we all believed) but is still an inspiration that brings us hope.
For just that moment it seems you can accomplish anything.

It appeared as I was waiting for my son outside of a school event and it took my breath away as he walked under it. One of four joys of my life and they all make my life beautiful...…
 

Can't take it back

The other day I said something that I have been pondering over and over in my mind and I can't take it back.

Have you ever been in a social situation where you feel out of place? I am in that position everyday at work. I am at the "bottom of the food chain" or at least pretty close to it as far as my position in this company.

My co-workers were discussing a topic that I find very entertaining. I spend a lot of my time doing just what they were talking about. Notice I don't even want to say it, but I will "Gambling". They were mostly making comments about people who do this, not quite in a negative way like you would suspect, but I felt I wanted to add my two cents to the conversation.

In Montana you are allowed to win a maximum jackpot of $800 on one win (excluding any Casino on an Indian Reservation). I have lived in Montana 7 years, but in the last year alone, I personally have hit 5 $800 jackpots. My secret, VISUALIZATION! The book "THE SECRET"!

I felt compelled to speak up. The first comment made was "where did you hear that Deepak Chopra?" (whom I admire dearly), and some of them just looked at me in awe. Then I said "no, THE SECRET". The conversation seemed to end there.

Considering I haven't told many people of my passions, I feel really uncomfortable about it. I have also learned you should keep your goals and intentions to yourself and not share them with others that don't have the same goals or intentions, but in this situation I was compelled.

I decided not to let it bother me. I like who I am, I just usually don’t share with them. So now I am unsure what they are thinking and since I can't take it back, I guess I will just accept that they finally know a little piece of me that they didn't know before.

Search Amazon.com for The Secret by Rhonda Byrne

Daily Challenge

Challenge yourself daily to see the good in life. Look around you at the beauty in your life. Look at your children and smile, because even with all their imperfections, they are beautiful. Look at the rippling water, the swaying trees, and the green grass along the sides of the road and take in their tremendous beauty.
One of my families most favorite past times is to take a drive and count all the white tail deer we see. We have a really good time and get out in nature. I feel alive with passion for life. Just that moment of gratitude changes your life.

Positive Motivation... Optimism vs. Pessimism

I have found it essential to have a positive attitude about life. I want to experience life to it's fullest. Thus, I must be completely optimistic.

We all have a pessimistic side to us, even the biggest optimist has a pessimistic side.

We have to leave pessimism behind to truly be a positive person. Each day when I wake up, I make the choice and state the Affirmation "Today I will remain positive, I will find the good in anything that disrupts my life. I will forgive those that offend me or seem to make my life unpleasant, disruption can only happen if I allow it to happen". With this statement I am affirming that even when things seem bad they really aren't. It is only my perception of the situation that makes it seem that way. If I choose to allow it to bother me, I am allowing for pessimism. So I choose not to allow those negative thoughts to invade my mind.

Therefore I choose to stay optimistic even when life seems complicated. I believe a positive attitude and complete optimism is crucial to my over all well being.